i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
