I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
