hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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