Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
