Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
