wanna go halves on a baby?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
