I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
