Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
