don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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