sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
