5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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