He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
