so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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