i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
