You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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