Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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