I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
