I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
