I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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