So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
