I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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