one might say we're banned from that church
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
