we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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