Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
