His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
