So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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