the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
