Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
