I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
