thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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