eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
