They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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