Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He felt like a one man threesome
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
