I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
