Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
