And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
