Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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