I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
