chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
