what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
