just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
