I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
