Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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