Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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