For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
