If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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