Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i dont even know how to be here
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Found the puke drawer
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
