I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
