I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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