So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
