so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
