just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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