Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
