she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
